Okay, time to face the music and own up to it. All work sucks. I just gotta accept it and learn to live with it.
It’s been hard because I’ve had jobs that didn’t suck, well, sucked less. C’est la vie! Le suckage is unavoidable so part of accepting that is to really compare what might suck more. Would it suck more to work at McDonald’s? Yes. Would it suck more to have my own business again? Hmm… yes if I had to continually find new clients, that sucked a lot. Would it suck more to lose benefits? This one depends. Would I be paid enough to bridge the gap? Would I still have disability? In some cases the answer is yes, but that might not be an employee contract and that has other risks.
My risk tolerance isn’t what it used to be. I wanna just settle into a solid job where I don’t need to stress out all the damn time. But that usually means accepting less reward… That’s what I struggle with the most. I’m aggressive and always want to be pushing growth. Both mine and the company I work for… Bah! I’m a middle aged man! Aren’t I supposed to have figured this shit out by now? Fark…